Lately it seems like almost all of my clients and almost every woman I speak with all want the same thing:  children who listen and a peaceful home.   Parents describe feeling exhausted and hopeless by the constant bickering in their homes, their child's disrespect, and the day to day battles over such minutia as brushing teeth or putting on deodorant. I don't want to live like that, and you don't have to live like that.

In my current teleseminar series, on a global level, we are talking about how to bring peace to our family and harmony to our homes.  However, on a micro level we are dealing with all of the many minor events that occur daily and have the potential to derail our plans for peaceful living.  I have been working on this concept for many years and have helped numerous clients to be the parents they want to be, and to lay the foundation for the tranquil home they want to live in.  I have walked a few miles in your shoes, and I will never ask you to do something that I have not done myself. 

Every day for the next thirty days I will provide you with new action item.  Each day's direction is designed to help reduce the internal angst in your family and to create a home life that you all enjoy. 

For your first assignment, I invite you to complete three action items.  First, purchase a spiral notebook, pens that feel cofortable in your hand, and a journal that you will enjoy writing in.  

Second, find a quiet moment during the day or evening when you can be alone to quiet your mind and body.  Take some deep breaths  and ask yourself honestly if you are truly ready to make this committment.  Visualize yourself managing your children without yelling, and holding the line when your child tries to figure out just how far he can push you before he can get you to give in.  Once you begin the process of changing your child's behavior, you will have to stay the course.  Otherwise you risk losing all credibility with your child, and you will make discipline even more difficult down the road.   

Take your spiral notebook and write "Declarations" on the top of the page.  As we proceed with changes, you will note your declarations on this page.

If you have decided that you are ready to move forward, write your declaration on  your declarations page, and write a brief list of some of the changes that will need to take place. Think along the lines of the behaviors that need to be corrected; yours, your husbands and your child's behaviors.  Approach this activity with a completely open mind.  There are no rules.  Would you like to change your family's schedule?  Do you need to delegate more household chores to your children or spouse?  Consider the changes you may need to make in your family's schedule.  What are some of the conflicts that members of your family engage in day in and day out?   Are you ready to put an end to them? 

At this stage you are collecting data.  In a perfect world you might ask your partner or spouse for their  input during this step.    

If you feel that you are not ready to begin, make a list of the events that must take place so that you can proceed.  Next to each item, write out a plan for getting rid of that obstacle. If you aren't sure about how to get rid of some of the obstacles in your way, you can write multiple solutions for each one to brainstorm, and  you can seek advice from family, friends, and professionals. 

Next, regardless of whether you have decided to proceed now or to hold off, turn to a new sheet of paper from your spiral note book, and write a list of twenty aspects of your family's life that will improve once you have taken control of your children and your household. Give yourself an imaginary pat on the back for your honesty and willingness to consider change carefully, without jumping in impulsively.  Continue this process every day until you are ready to start. Each day re-write your list of obstacles and the action items that you need to engage in to get rid of them.  You may notice that as you stick to this process a number of the obstacles will simply fall away.  

Once you are ready to begin, make the commitment to yourself and declare your intention in writing on the declaration page of your notebook.  If you havent already done so, think about the changes that you will have to make in your household and write a brief list in your spiral notebook.

I thank you for joining me.  I would love to hear your thoughts, so please shoot me an email if you can.

Wishing you a great evening,

Elizabeth Pflaum